No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You need Xanax blowdarts
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
