He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
