I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
