My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
