THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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