dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
