Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
