All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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