dude i'm inner monologue high
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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