cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
