Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
