It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He better not be in your backpack
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
