You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
