hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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