I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
