Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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