You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Say something about gay babies.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
