If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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