YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
