Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
