whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
