Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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