was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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