I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize