That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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