You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
