You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
