he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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