oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
