so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
