yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
