Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
