I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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