My friends, they love my intelligence
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
