judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
