So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
