ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
