hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
