So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
