I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
