Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
