The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
