Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
