It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
