I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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