I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
