you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Small penises have feelings too.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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