What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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