Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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