it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
