i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
3pm strippers are depressing
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
