I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
