wat bout pragnant strippers??
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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