Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
