I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
