She is in my trunk
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
