i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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