No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize