she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize