Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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