so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
