i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
