We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Farmville is her only friend.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I touched a dick in church today
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