I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
