I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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