Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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