he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
